Note: Hello, everyone! I took a break from translating while I was studying in Japan for the past few months, but now I'm back, and after seeing the girls live in concert in Japan many (many) times, I love Hello! Project more than ever. Now that I'm not traipsing around the motherland, Morning Matome will be updated regularly again. Happy New Year, friends! 明けましておめでとうございます！
Sad to hear that my kamioshi's going through a rough time, but honestly, she seemed more badass and full of energy at the Countdown live than ever... not to mention her new haircut is looking EXTREMELY hot. Our girl's making a good, healthy decision for her future. She'll be fine!
Now let's move on to the wota jokes, shall we? ;)
Note: This thread is almost entirely puns on the lyrics to the Morning Musume song "Happy Summer Wedding."
Isshoukenmei gaman shimashita~ DIVORCE!
(Translation: I did my best to persevere~ DIVORCE!)
Tousan, kaasan, arigatou
Kaishou nai yatsu to wakareta no desu
(Translation: Dad, Mom, thank you
I broke up with a good-for-nothing guy)
(Translation: I did it!)
Nandonaku kujikesouna himo ne
Yume ga wakaranakunata toki mo
(Translation: How many times did the useless guy get crushed,
And lose sight of his dreams?)
>>Original lyrics' 日も [hi mo, meaning days] changed to ヒモ [himo, meaning useless guy].
Inu ga tarinai nante amaetari
Komarasete bakari datta kedo~
(Translation: Acting spoiled and saying stuff like, "We don't have enough dogs"
But all I did was worry you~)
Aaー tousan kaasan
Aaー kansha shitemasu
Aaー takusan shinpai
Aaー kakete gomen ne~
(Translation: Ahー Dad, Mom
Ahー I'm grateful
Ahー Sorry for
Ahー Causing you so much worry~)
Shoukai shimasu. Urenai butai yakusha no Kotani-san.
(Translation: I'll introduce you. This is Kotani-san, a B-list actor.)
Denwa ya meeru janandakara
Chokusetsu inu no kao mite tsutaetai desu.
(Translation: I don't want to call or text you.
I want to say it right to the dog's face.)
Se wa maa takai hou dakedo kaishou nai hito.
Otousan to issho de doubutsu gyakutai ga shumi na no.
(Translation: He's on the taller side, but he's a good-for-nothing chump.
His hobby is animal abuse -- just like you, Dad.)
Datte, otousan ga "Inu kirai no hito ni wa warui hito wa inai" tte itteta shi
(Translation: After all, you did say "Anyone who hates dogs can't be a bad guy!"
(Translation: I swear with all my might...
(Translation: I tried my best to cook for him~
It was bad)
Aaー mamagoto musume
Aaー kore kara wa ×1
(Translation: Ahー Now there's one less
Ahー Musume playing house)
(Translation: I tried my best to conceive children~
Maternity leave [I didn't get])
>>Original lyrics' サンキュウ [sankyuu, meaning thank you] changed to 産休 [sankyuu, meaning maternity leave].
Morning Musume '18 new single
"Happy Winter Divorce, feat. Yaguchi Mari & Niigaki Risa / Happy Summer Wedding (updated)"